Fandom: CSI Pairing: G/S Rating: PG Summary: A short gift fic for laura27md. Disclaimer: The characters and situations in this story belong to Alliance Atlantis, CBS, Anthony Zuicker and other entities, and I do not have permission to borrow them; no infringement is intended in any way, and this story is not for profit.  Any errors are mine, all mine, no you can't have any.  "Grissom's Song" © A.E. Michels, used with permission.   Spoilers: none, this is a futurefic.   Happy Birthday, Laura!   *********    Sara dropped the towel over the back of the chair and took a moment to admire Grissom.  He was still sound asleep, curled up with his back to her, the sheet pulled up only to his waist; but she loved his back too, wide and strong.  On impulse, she set one knee on the bed and bent to press her lips to his sloped shoulder.  His skin was cool.  It startled her, and she jerked back; he was never cool, even his hands were always warm.  He was her furnace.  It wasn’t quite panic that made her pull him over onto his back, but it was close; the swell of fear crested and sank as he sighed and moved and opened his eyes, blinking up at her sleepily.  Sara lay down next to him and burrowed into his arms, pressing her face into his chest, which was warm.  “What’s the matter?” he asked, voice fuzzy with sleep.  She shivered.  She didn’t want to say for a second I thought you were dead, it sounded stupid and panicky, but she didn’t know what else to tell him.  Bless him, Grissom seemed to sense it.  He just cradled her for a little while, one hand rubbing her shoulder as she breathed against him.  Finally she relaxed, and a moment later he spoke, softly.  “What is it?”  “I just realized something,” she muttered against his skin.  He hummed, a gently inquiring sound slightly muffled by her hair.  Sara considered not telling him, he’d let it go with a little convincing, but it would worry him and she hated doing that.  “Age difference,” she said at last, not looking up.  Grissom stiffened a little.  “I thought it didn’t bother you,” he said, and while his tone was mostly cautious, she heard the thread of fear in it.  It made her raise her head.  “Not that,” she said firmly, and trusted that he would know what she meant.  He did, relaxing and lifting a curious eyebrow.  “Well then?”  She bit her lip, struggling to pull words together.  “I’m probably going to outlive you.”  Her beloved scientist didn’t flinch at this fact, merely waited for her to continue.  Sara reached out to skim her fingertips slowly over the prickly-soft underside of his chin and down his throat.  “I just--I just realized what it will be like.  Being alone again.”  Her own throat tightened a little at the thought.  “I don’t want to be without you.”  Grissom didn’t hasten to reassure her; she went on touching him in quiet simple pleasure for a minute or two while he thought.  She’d lengthened her strokes to the center of his chest before he spoke.  “I know what you mean,” he said at last.  “It’s a fear of mine, too, Sara.  There are far, far too many things that could take you from me.”  He captured her hand in his and raised it to his lips to place a soft kiss on the tips of her fingers.  “I don’t think there’s a solution.”  Somehow his words were more comforting than any platitude.  She smiled at him, feeling lighter.  “Die in the same car accident?” she offered half-jokingly.  “It’s a thought,” he teased.  “But someone would have to process it.”  “This is true.”  Sara sobered at the thought of Greg or Nick or even one of the dayshift CSIs finding that the accident scene involved someone that they knew.  “I’ll admit to a little selfishness,” Grissom murmured, after a moment.  “I’m glad the odds are in my favor.”  He sighed.  Sara nodded, understanding the sentiment, and snuggled closer--not falling asleep but drifting a little in his embrace.  After a while he spoke again.  “If...if something should happen--”  She felt his swallow against her scalp.  “What do you want done?”  It was a practical question, but not one they had yet raised with each other.  Sara considered.  “Cremation,” she said eventually.  “Let my ashes go into the wind.”  Grissom shivered slightly, and she rolled over on top of him so she could see his face and hold him with both arms.  “What about you?”  He looked at her gravely, and spoke.            “Lay me to sleep           In the sweet summer grass           This my worn kingdom           Of flesh and bone;           Cry me no tears--           All things will pass;           The doorway is narrow,           We all go alone.             Virtues and vanities           All set aside           Well or ill-spent,           My doing now done;           Secrets all sealed,           None left to hide           Murmurs now hushed,           I must go alone.             Yet go I content           Down to my last fall--           All struggle ended,           One thing have I known;           I had your love           Greater than all,           I had your heart--           I was never alone.”    Sara rested her chin on his chest and just let the tears come.  Grissom blotted a few away with his thumb, eyes dark and open.  “You’re what makes life worth it for me,” he whispered.  She choked a little, and grabbed the corner of the sheet to wipe the rest of her tears.  “Tell you what,” she managed.  “Let’s just live forever, okay?”  Grissom smiled, and pulled her up until he could kiss her.  “Sounds good to me.”      End. 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