Fandom: Iron Man (movieverse) Rating: R Pairing: Tony/Pepper Summary: It's Pepper who's hurt, but it's Tony who needs the comfort...   Disclaimer: Most of the characters and situations in this story belong to Marvel Comics, Fairview Entertainment, Dark Blades Films, and other entities, and I do not have permission to borrow them.  All others are mine, and if you want to borrow them, you have to ask me first.  No infringement is intended in any way, and this story is not for profit.  Any errors are mine, all mine, no you can't have any. Thank you to everyone who reads and lets me know what they think.  I appreciate it more than I can say.   Banner by the most generous Cincoflex!       ********* It was probably a good thing, Pepper thought, that she had reached the kitchen before she’d started to laugh.    As it was, she sat down at the little table and giggled helplessly into one hand, lest the sharp ears downstairs somehow sense her.  She could hear the tinge of hysteria behind her amusement, but it seemed somehow justified.    Not that she was laughing at Tony; not by any means.  He should have looked silly, half-naked and resembling a diver distracted in the middle of suiting up; but he hadn’t.  He’d just been familiar.  After all, she’d seen him in less.    Familiar...until she’d met his eyes.    It was herself Pepper laughed at, and the entire situation.  At her own willful blindness, because that was exactly what it was.  I didn’t want to think about the fact that we had a relationship, so I didn’t.  Bad move.    Tony had flirted with her from the moment she’d been hired, and she’d never taken it as more than spinal reflex on his part.  Pepper knew she was attractive, and that while her working appearance of tidy suits and restraint might not suit everyone, Tony had notoriously eclectic tastes.  But she hadn’t really thought--hadn’t let herself think--about what it might mean to be the exclusive focus of his attention.    To really be his lover.    Part of her wanted to go back downstairs and find out.  Part of her wanted to leave the house, now, out of sheer embarrassment if nothing else.    And the rest of Pepper knew she could do neither.  Giving in to her hormones was out of the question, and if she left Tony would most certainly come after her.    Something flickered in her mind, and Pepper frowned.  An argument of some kind, stalking away into a sea-scented night, Tony catching hold of her arm--   Heat flooded her cheeks at the brief sensation of being pressed up against her car door and kissed very thoroughly.  And then the memory was gone.    Pepper froze, searching after the elusive images, but there was nothing more--no sense of what the argument had been about, no notion of what had happened after the kiss.  Even the memory itself felt less like recall now and more like something she’d been told about.    Dammit!    She relaxed taut muscles, sighing with frustration.  Her mind raced, and she pressed her hands to her cheeks to try to cool them.  The fragment was the first real proof she had that Tony was telling the truth about their relationship--not that she had disbelieved him, precisely, but it gave a new depth to the knowledge.    She sighed again as a new realization dawned as well.  For all that Pepper didn’t want to be the person she seemed to have been, the tiny glimpse of the past had wakened a terrible hunger to know more.    Pepper rose mechanically and went to the freezer to retrieve the homemade pizza she knew was there, then turned on the oven.  Her mind continued to work, prying at the brief glimpse of her past, and she scarcely noticed when Tony came upstairs, hair still wet and the arc implant glowing through the hole in his shirt.    The gleam in his eyes faded as he took her in.  “Everything okay, Potts?”    Pepper almost didn’t tell him.  He was more of a stranger than she’d thought, and the one short glimpse felt so terribly private.    But--    He’s been nothing but kind.  And he’s worried.  Lovers or not, he deserves to know.    “I had a memory come back,” she said slowly.  “Just a glimpse, but it was real.”    Tony--sharpened was the only word for it, Pepper thought.  He took a step forward.  “That’s good, Pepper.  What was it?”    She shook her head.  “It was personal.  Private.”  She realized her hands were clasped together so hard that her fingers ached.  “I just--Jarvis?  How does it work when amnesiacs get their memories back?”    “It varies,” the AI answered.  “Some come back in small increments over time.  Others experience what is known as a ‘cascade’ of memories, though that is much more rare.  Such incidents can be overwhelming, even temporarily incapacitating.”    Pepper jumped as she felt Tony’s hand on the back of her neck, rubbing at the stiff tendons.  “Relax, Potts.  You’re wound up tighter than a spring.”  The look he bent on her was sympathy and hope mingled, an expression any friend might wear.  “Pushing won’t help, remember?”    Her lips twitched at the pun, but she shook her head and stepped away to put the pizza in the oven.  “Says the man who’s made it into an art form.”    He grinned.  “We all have our flaws.”  Opening a cabinet, he took out two plates.  “By the way, Rhodey’s bringing dinner tonight.”    “Oh, good.”  Pepper felt a surge of pleasure at the thought.  “I’d like to see him.”    Tony put the plates on the table and rubbed the back of his own neck, lips quirking.  “He, uh...he does know that you’ve lost your memory.”  He waved a hand vaguely.  “I can’t remember how close you two were in 2005, but--“    The staticky recording she’d heard the day before rose in Pepper’s memory, and the relief in Colonel Rhodes’ voice; she remembered the e-mails Jarvis had shown her, the way Rhodes had done his best to keep her spirits and hope up.    And she’d always known he was a person she could trust.    “That’s fine,” she told Tony, and he nodded gratefully.    He finished setting the table while Pepper started a salad, and not until the last fork was in place did he speak again.  “There were only three people who knew what really happened over there.  Not counting Jarvis.”    Pepper paused in tearing spinach and looked at him, surprised that he was bringing the subject up.  Tony shrugged, a bit shy.  “You, Obadiah, and Rhodey.  I trust him implicitly, but...I’m glad you know again.”    Oh.    It probably wasn’t a good idea in light of what had happened in the garage, but Pepper ignored caution.  Putting down the greens, she walked over to Tony and hugged him.    The way his arms closed around her was no more familiar than the feel of the reactor pressed against her breastbone, but the way his forehead dropped to rest on her shoulder and the sigh that came out of him told her better than words that he needed the touch.  He was good to hug, Pepper thought, warm and muscled and not too tall.  She rubbed her cheek briefly against his damp hair, and felt him squeeze her a little more.    The complex, masculine smell of him filled her nose and headed for her backbrain, and Pepper let him go, stepping back before either of them made more of the embrace.  Tony didn’t fight her, but the way his hands lingered for an instant on her hips told her that her choice was wise.  She smiled at him.  “Do you want tomatoes in the salad?”    His answering smile was soft, almost shy again.  “Sure.”    Tony started yawning over his fourth slice of pizza, so when he’d finished it Pepper ordered him to go take a nap.  He went with an alacrity that made her suspect he was either much more tired than he was letting on, or he was just pleased that she was back to telling him what to do.  Possibly both.    She cleaned up the kitchen in a thoughtful mood, trying to make sense of all the emotions churning through her.  The day had ranged from fear for Tony’s safety to the shock of the arc reactor, to arousal, and back to tenderness.  Every time I think I’ve got one of us pigeonholed, something changes.    When the last counter was wiped down Pepper found a hat--a broad-brimmed straw that was undeniably feminine, and thus must be hers though she didn’t recognize it--and went out for a walk on the beach.  Out of curiosity, she walked south until she found the spot where the cliff path had fallen.    It wasn’t a long drop, but she shivered nonetheless.  I wonder what it was like.  Brief, I guess.  If Tony had found her unconscious, she had probably been knocked out on the way down.    Pepper turned and went back in the other direction, concentrating deliberately on the waves and the gulls to soothe her mind and distract it from trying to pull up more memories.  That one flashing glimpse was like a peek through a locked door--she wanted to hammer and shout until the latch gave way.    The ocean gradually worked its magic, however, and she wandered along dreamily, examining interesting shells and watching the sandpipers working busily.  In the life Pepper could remember, she didn’t usually have time for long walks, but she did sometimes take a break and come down to stand by the water for a few minutes, just to get some peace and fresh air.  Once or twice Tony had even playfully snatched her phone from her hand and sent her out, claiming she looked “peaked, go get some sun before you grow fungus, Potts.”    When the sun neared the horizon Pepper turned back, slightly sweaty but more relaxed.  Her timing was perfect; as she hung up the hat Jarvis announced that Colonel Rhodes was turning in at the gate.    He smiled when she opened the front door, a large and promising brown bag tucked under his arm and his sunglasses in his other hand.  “Hey, Pepper, you’re looking good.”    Pepper stepped back to let him in.  “Hi Jimmy.  I’m glad you’re here.”    Rhodes crossed the threshold, hesitated just slightly, and leaned in to press a light kiss to her cheek.  “I’m glad you’re okay.  You scared Tony pretty good, you know.”    Pepper closed the door.  “Apparently.”  In retrospect, she knew that he’d been terrified, but at the time she had been so confused by his reactions that it hadn’t really penetrated.    As if sensing her unease, Rhodes dropped the subject and headed towards the kitchen.  “How’s the head?”    They chatted lightly as Pepper set the table and Rhodes unpacked the bag, and as she made iced tea Pepper realized that talking to him was a huge relief.  There’s no disconnect.  The Jimmy of now was the same as the Jimmy she remembered, treating her with easy affection and the respect of equals.  There were no hidden pitfalls, no reactions that didn’t make sense.    Rhodes took the pitcher from her and reached for a glass.  “Here, lemme do that.  Why don’t you go get the Tin Man?  The food’s getting cold.”    Pepper stared at him.  “Tin Man?  What--oh.”  The joke came clear, and she snickered.  “Jimmy, that’s terrible.”    He grinned, but she saw him flinch just slightly, and sobered.  “What?”    He shook his head, a bit of a flush tinting his cheeks.  “Sorry, Pepper.  I for--well--it was your joke.”    It was her turn to wince.  “Oh.”  She shrugged.  “Don’t worry about it, Jimmy.  It’s going to happen.”    Rhodes didn’t look appeased, but he nodded, and Pepper went to find her...boss.    Going up to the master bedroom didn’t feel weird--she had often had to rouse him from sleep for a meeting or a trip, and had even stopped caring much that he frequently chose to sleep in the buff.  But the bed was empty when she opened the door, the covers still neatly tucked in.    Pepper frowned.  I know he was tired--didn’t he sleep after all?  “Jarvis?  Where is Mr. Stark?”    “He is in his workshop.  Shall I wake him?”    She shook her head in exasperation.  “Yes, tell him Jimmy’s here and dinner’s ready.  What’s he doing down there?”    Severin was the only one who ever made the bed, and the realization hit her at the same time as Jarvis’ reply.  “Tony has not slept in this room since you returned from the hospital, Ms. Potts.”    It made her heart hurt.  “Why not?” she asked through stiff lips, though the answer was pretty clear.    “He has not told me why,” Jarvis answered gently.  “You will have to ask him yourself.”    She didn’t want to...and she wasn’t going to.  Pepper stood for a moment longer, looking around the big airy space, examining it as she hadn’t allowed herself to do despite a couple of visits to pick up more of her things.  It matched her memories in most particulars, but there was a small bookshelf in one corner that hadn’t been there before, an extra pillow on the bed, and--how had she missed it before?--the wooden Balinese mask she’d picked up in college hanging over the door.    All the touches of someone not only sleeping in the bed, but at home in the room.    “Pepper.”  Somehow the voice didn’t startle her, and she turned to see Tony in the doorway, sleep-rumpled and wary.  He had changed into shorts at some point, ragged denim cut-offs, and bruises were darkening into visibility all down the side of one leg.  “Are you okay?”    She shrugged.  “I was looking for you.  And...me, I guess.”  Pepper frowned at his leg.  “Does...does that happen a lot?”    He glanced down, barely seeming to notice the damage.  “Depends on what they hit me with.  That’s nothing, really.”    She winced inwardly, wondering if that was typical macho downplaying or if he often came back with worse injuries.  Tony’s lips quirked up.  “Relax, Pepper.  Seriously, it’s not bad, and I’ll get an ice pack later.  You set me up a whole routine.”    Pepper shook her head.  “I thought the armor was supposed to protect you.”    It was his turn to shrug.  “It does.  Physics just has the edge sometimes.”  He jerked a thumb over his shoulder.  “Now come on, Potts, or Rhodey’s gonna eat all the cashew chicken.”    The meal was pleasant.  Rhodes’ presence defused most of the tension, Pepper thought, and they kept the conversation light, with the two men ribbing each other and both of them spooning more food onto her plate whenever they thought she wasn’t looking.  Pepper listened to their genial insults, smiling as they laughed, and while she didn’t understand all of the code phrases any more, she didn’t feel excluded.    I need to get out again, she thought as she poured more iced tea into her glass.  Aside from her lunch trip, she hadn’t been off Tony’s property since he’d brought her back from her old neighborhood.  I need to talk to normal people.    In fact, it occurred to her later, as Rhodes waved goodbye and headed back to his car--in fact, her head was pretty much healed and her bruises were fading.  I really don’t have any more reason to stay here.    Never mind that she had nowhere to actually go; that was a solvable problem.  Pepper walked slowly back towards the kitchen, Tony just ahead of her, and it took her a moment to realize that he was limping slightly.    “Bed, Mr. Stark,” she said sternly.  “You need more rest to heal.”    He swung around to face her, the corners of his mouth turning up and his eyes gleaming with mischief.  “You know, usually when you suggest that you come with me.”    Pepper gave him a quelling look.  “You told me I still had my job.  Which is, in short, to look after you.  You need more sleep.”  She wasn’t about to discuss their former relationship right at that moment, not after the events of the day.  She needed time to think.    His humor faded a little.  “Tony,” he said firmly.  “Even before, you called me Tony.”    Negotiating with him was something Pepper did remember.  “Will you not argue if I do?”    He smirked a little.  “Not this time, anyway.”    She raised her brows, amused despite herself.  “Very well then.  Go to bed, Tony.  And to sleep.”    He snickered.  “That was easy.”  Before she could take offense, he grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it.  “Do my best, Potts.”    And he was gone, moving fairly swiftly despite the limp.  Pepper rolled her eyes, but the spot he’d kissed tingled just slightly as she headed for her office.    It was still more comfortable than the guest bedroom she was occupying.  Pepper sat down in her perfect desk chair and let it recline slightly, looking out the window at what little she could see of the eastern view.  Sunset had come and gone, and mostly what was visible was her own reflection.    Idly she stood again and went to examine her image more closely.  It was difficult to make out any real detail; she was more like a ghost against the darkness beyond the glass, a far-off light shining through her left shoulder.    She looked wrong for the place she was in.  Hair down, wearing a t-shirt and a pair of loose cotton trousers she usually kept for weekends--definitely not work attire.  Slowly, knowing that no one could see her from outside the property at this angle, Pepper pulled up her shirt.    The edge of the bruise showed above her cleavage.  It was more yellow and green now than dark, and hard to make out in the reflection, but she could dip her chin and see it clearly.  It spoke of fear and desperation, something she couldn’t quite reconcile with the man she remembered.    The Tony she was learning now, though--    Pepper tugged her shirt back down with a grimace, and returned her gaze to her reflection.  She hadn’t detected any real difference in her own appearance after her accident; maybe she was a few pounds heavier, but not so much that it worried her.  No new scars except for a near-invisible line along one temple; perhaps an inch or so more of hair.  It was the same familiar body.    Pepper leaned forward and rested her palms against the chilly glass, as though she were doing vertical push-ups.  And suddenly her mind presented her with a picture--not a memory at all, but an imagining so vivid that she could almost see it with her eyes.  The same reflection, but with Tony Stark pressed up behind her, his arms encircling her and his hands on the point of closing over her breasts.  His face behind her ear was intent, sensual, and her own eyes were closed, her lips parted--    Pepper pushed away from the window with a hard shove and stamped back to her chair, deliberately sitting down with her back to the glass.  No.    Why not? asked a treacherous part of her, and Pepper faced it down as sternly as she might Tony himself when he was refusing to attend a particularly important meeting.    Because it’s foolish.  Because it’s wrong.  Because, no matter how stupid you were before, you have a chance to fix things.  Fate had erased her error, and she didn’t have to repeat it.    Pepper pushed away the memory of Tony’s asking eyes.  Certainly he was infatuated with her now, but sooner or later the attraction would fade, just as it had with all his other conquests.  This was the perfect opportunity to escape with her heart intact, without causing a mess that would destroy their working relationship.    Pepper opened her laptop and began searching for decent apartments.        She dreamed all night.  Every time she would surface for a bleary moment sleep would drag her back down into a vivid, ever-changing mosaic of images, feelings, and events.  The Iron Man armor, but unadorned silver.  Tony in a ridiculous pair of yellow sunglasses.  Wandering through the mansion, knowing it was utterly empty but for a tearing loneliness.  Her old apartment, hovering in open air six stories above the street.  Her chest on fire, Tony swearing desperately in her ear.    None of the dreams would stay; they faded and melted and merged into other absurdities.  She twitched and moaned and tried to wake, but her subconscious was relentless.    Until she dreamed a hand stroking her hair, and a low voice soothing her, telling her she wasn’t alone, that everything was all right and she was safe.  And at last she could fall into oblivion.        Tony sat on the edge of Pepper’s bed until nearly dawn.  Jarvis had alerted him to her agitation, as per orders, and when she hadn’t responded to his soft repetition of her name from her doorway he’d ventured inside.  She had been tossing in her sheets, whimpering under her breath, and he’d moved to wake her, but at the touch of his hand she had quieted.    So he’d stayed.  In fact, he hadn’t been able to make himself leave her to whatever nightmares plagued her sleep; even after she’d stopped dreaming, he couldn’t walk away.  He just leaned against the headboard and watched her breathe, one lock of tangled red hair spilling over his wrist.    You still love me, Pepper, if I can still chase the bad dreams away.    But when the sun began to light the sky Tony forced himself to move, rising and leaving silently despite stiff muscles and the bruises she’d remarked on earlier.    And hoped like hell that he was right.       Chapter One      Chapter Two     Chapter Three    Chapter Four    Chapter Five    Chapter Six    Chapter Seven    Chapter Eight    Chapter Nine    Chapter Ten    Chapter Eleven    Chapter Twelve    Epilogue  Iron Man Home Feedback